Solo Parent Balance

Balancing Out Being a single parent and staying balanced with finances is not always easy, but possible. I like parenting alone because I can devote that extra time to my child that I would have to divide with a spouse. I used to worry that it wasn't fair to my child to have only one parent and no siblings until I realized that it only takes a great relationship with one person to truly garnish a child's life. Of course, I have to supplement with lots of role models besides myself and get creative with financing.

While I do have to work to provide for our little family, I am fortunate to be working from home by runnng a website and freelancing. I work when my child goes to school until he comes home and then again after he goes to bed most nights. I catch up on the weekends thanks to endless hours of play outside with the neighborhood kids while I supervise from under the tree with my laptop going. I like my work-it's a natural extension of myself and comes easily. It's like I would be doing it anyway-so what a gift that I can do it as a career. I'm a weird kind of career mom-stay at home career mom. That's a whole different topic.
I was married once when me son was 2. He was adopted at 19 months. I sufferred greatly trying to accomodate for the special needs of my son, my new husband, and his two young children. I wanted to do it right so badly, but I became drained and eaten up with resentment within a year. The "blend" was just not working. He left. I sometimes think I married for the wrong reasons-highly subconciously. I thought it would be better to raise my child in a 2 parent household and the extra income would really help too. Plus I loved the guy. I learned quickly that a man can make a huge salary and still have no money. I ended up paying on his debts as much as my own. Now days I have to divide my time only between work and homelife and keep it simple. For me, that is the way to peace.

 My biggest mistake has been fear that I couldn't raise my son alone without help financially. I believed that it was unfair to stay single when I had the open door to giving him more family, such as a daddy and siblings. Although I was making it fine as a single before the child, and was doing okay after he came, I seemed to keep that niggling fear that it wasn't enough with just me. I felt confident that I could handle the emotional needs-but-not at the same time as handling the money. I was wrong! I ended up figuring out that each person has to do what their heart tells them to do and what they are capable of. I am now mama and papa to my dear special little boy, and we are doing well emotionally and financially. If a child has at least one primary caregiver that provides the opportunties for trust and intimacy, then that transfers over to others later on in life. I am giving my son that relationship. In return I get to witness his life. Money is just "green paper" that we use to live. It's not good or bad, it just is what it is. Nature's way is to balance itself, and that's what we have today. This is balance for me. The scale is up to you.

Article for MoneySocial.com by Karasel Kid